Self-Development is Personal – Deeply Personal

Self-Development is Personal – Deeply Personal

Despite however personal one’s journey intothe unchartered caverns of the mind, there are phases common to all in theprocess of truth and SELF DEVELOPMENT; phases that epitomise the difficulty,persistence of effort, trauma and humbling sense of gratitude when you realiseupon reflection, just how far you have come as an individual. Such a poignantmoment in time when you not only appreciate the distance travelled but howbrave, how inspiring and how worthy you are of self-respect.

Those phases as I have grown to understandfrom my own experience are:

The Puke Stage – or should I say BaggageRelease Stage. For me that deeply emotional and highly reactive time whengetting off my chest the weight from my past became paramount in order tobreathe again. In order to think for myself, be bluntly honest with myself andto hopefully move forward in the direction I had for so long dreamed of. Butsignificantly that ‘Puke Stage’ proved more often than not, to be a totallynon-sensical period when most of what was spewing from my mouth formed nochronological sense at all. Without doubt it was truly the teariest period ofthe entire 17 year process (that’s another story) just one hurtful, impactfuland deeply traumatic experience after another each of which was refusing to laydormant any longer.

VISIT

It was on 21 Feb 2006, my daughter’s birthday when I surrendered to the reality of my situation. I realised in my state of desperation that there was never going to be any fairy tale quick fix solution and further more that no one, but no one was ever coming to save me. I HAD TO SAVE MYSELF!

The catalyst, and there is always acatalyst…

My dearest husband who’d fallen victim to the ravages of PTSD as a Long Tan Veteran. The wrecking ball incident had come with an attempted suicide some seven months previously, one that not only threatened to destroy our relationship but everything we had acquired together in the material sense. It was way more than I could stand!

Hence my wide-eyed solo launch into the darkness and ugliness of my past, all of it the good, the bad and the down right ugly events of my life. Instinctively I knew that all that was required of me,was my honesty and commitment to honesty no matter how hard my journey would prove to be. When you reach that point as I did, nothing is impossible, nothing!