GRATITUDE AS A WAY OF LIFE

DAY by DAY survival for an increasing number of people remains a top priority in what has sadly become, a turbulent world devoid of values like common sense, good manners and genuine caring for others. Hence the scepticism and flagrant disregard toward anything put forward that is purportedly good for us like Living a Life of Gratitude or GRATITUDE AS A WAY OF LIFE.

In PURSUIT of HAPPINESS, which is ultimately what we all want, I believe that we each have an innate ability to not just Live a Better Life, but to Be Present in The Moment and thankful for the good things in our lives, all the small things we tend to take for granted such as having a place to live, good food, clean water, a close family and good friends etc.

From my experiences I feel the barrier to achieving that seemingly elusive happiness lies in the fact that most of us have become isolated from each other over time. We’ve imploded emotionally within ourselves, the degree of which is unquestionably determined by our negative, even horrific past experiences that continue to impact in some way on our daily lives. Sounds about right doesn’t it but the question then arises;

“How do we break free of that implosion?”

“How do we make the shift from defensiveness to enrichment?”

To find the answer to that one in my situation, I had to take that ready or not look deep within to be able to challenge my thoughts. I had to ask myself:

“Was my gratitude a genuine feeling emanating from my heart,

or had it originated from my head?”

“Was it something I felt, or something I thought?”

I didn’t have to dig very deep considering that defensiveness had for decades been part of my DNA but now, I was being abruptly reminded, of the time back in 2019 when my mother-in-law Ida desperately needed emotional support. I had faltered not altogether sure as to why she’d picked me, but absolutely certain at the same time that I was far from ready for any damn counselling session with my mother-in-law!

Too late! She refused to let go of me hence I found myself reluctantly on the days when I didn’t want to be around her, and more crucially, on the days when I didn’t even like the woman, having to listen to her talk about the good, the bad and the downright ugly aspects of her life as it had unfolded for her. I had to give of myself in letting this often cantankerous and highly opinionated woman into my fiercely protective and very intolerant world that still reeked of much contradiction and uncertainty. Despite having attained a Diploma of Counselling years earlier, the experience of which would’ve allowed me to focus on her for a little bit and not myself, I resisted. I ignored her pleas until finally out of guilt, I lowered my guard of defensiveness which in turn, developed my skill of listening, and I mean really listening to someone in dire straits. The subsequent reality for me?

“Had I not been forced into what was at times an arduous situation,

I would never have gone there!”

“Had I not taken the time to be present in the moment with my mother-in-law

in her time of need,  I would not have been able to help myself!”

In my book ‘When Time Means Nothing’ www.judinash.com first published in 2023 I had, resulting from my deeply emotional experience with Ida, been able to define Gratitude however, what I missed completely, was the crucial ‘WHY AND HOW’  part of living and Maintaining a Sense of Gratitude:

As I have previously eluded to, it took me 16 months following the release of my book to work out that  ‘Gratitude as a Way of Life’ requires far more than simply honouring the word gratitude and or claiming to be grateful. I had to learn that it  takes more than practice. I had to accept that it takes DILIGENCE OF PRACTICE a fact of life I’d never appreciated until I first accepted the reality of my situation.

To that end I was aware that my life was nowhere near where it needed to be nor anything like I wanted it to be hence my raised levels of anxiety in trying to figure a clear way forward for myself. And then the penny dropped: I realised nothing positive was ever going to happen without a complete shift in both thought and focus. I had to challenge the negativity of my thoughts in order to focus on the positive. I had to shift my focus:

From what I don’t have to WHAT I DO HAVE!

From what I can’t do to WHAT I CAN DO!

From what I’m not to WHO I AM!

Links to Related Blog Posts

From Attitude to Gratitude

The Power to Embrace Gratitude

Cultivating a Heart of Gratitude

© Judi Nash - 12 Feb 2025

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