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Self-Development is Personal – Deeply Personal

Self-Development is Personal – Deeply Personal

Despite however personal one’s journey intothe unchartered caverns of the mind, there are phases common to all in theprocess of truth and SELF DEVELOPMENT; phases that epitomise the difficulty,persistence of effort, trauma and humbling sense of gratitude when you realiseupon reflection, just how far you have come as an individual. Such a poignantmoment in time when you not only appreciate the distance travelled but howbrave, how inspiring and how worthy you are of self-respect.

Those phases as I have grown to understandfrom my own experience are:

The Puke Stage – or should I say BaggageRelease Stage. For me that deeply emotional and highly reactive time whengetting off my chest the weight from my past became paramount in order tobreathe again. In order to think for myself, be bluntly honest with myself andto hopefully move forward in the direction I had for so long dreamed of. Butsignificantly that ‘Puke Stage’ proved more often than not, to be a totallynon-sensical period when most of what was spewing from my mouth formed nochronological sense at all. Without doubt it was truly the teariest period ofthe entire 17 year process (that’s another story) just one hurtful, impactfuland deeply traumatic experience after another each of which was refusing to laydormant any longer.

It was on 21 Feb 2006, my daughter’sbirthday when I surrendered to the reality of my situation. I realised in mystate of desperation that there was never going to be any fairytale quick fixsolution and furthermore that no one, but no one was ever coming to save me. IHAD TO SAVE MYSELF!

The catalyst, and there is always acatalyst…

My dearest husband who’d fallen victim tothe ravages of PTSD as a Long Tan Veteran. The wrecking ball incident had comewith an attempted suicide some seven months previously, one that not onlythreatened to destroy our relationship but everything we had acquired togetherin the material sense. It was way more than I could stand!

Hence my wide-eyed solo launch into thedarkness and ugliness of my past, all of it the good, the bad and the downrightugly events of my life. Instinctively I knew that all that was required of me,was my honesty and commitment to honesty no matter how hard my journey wouldprove to be. When you reach that point as I did, nothing is impossible,nothing!